8:41 p.m. - 2005-01-28
This is sux.
This morning was my much-awaited esophagogastroduodenoscopy. As soon as I got out of bed, I headed downstairs and promptly fell down them. I didn't tumble; I just sat down hard on each step. This is the third time in 3 years that I've fallen down the steps. I almost passed out in the shower because of all the adrenalyn and pain of having just fallen down steps. So, now my ass hurts.
Then we got to the hospital (on time, yay us) and had to wait around in a crowded waiting room. When they finally got me ready, they had trouble finding a vein for the IV. I had to get poked in both arms. Meh. And this, after drinking an ocean of water yesterday!
Then I got wheeled into the exam room where the procedure took place and met the doctor. She introduced herself and said she'd be looking at my anastoma. I said Dr Kerlakian's office told me it was my esophagus that needed to be stretched. She said no. I almost started to cry. Well, I started, but I stopped. I told her to go ahead and look around, then, but not to do anything if it looks normal. She said she would.
Then they put some warm, fuzzy drugs in my IV, which I enjoyed for all of 15 seconds before she began jamming crap down my throat. Now, I was under the impression that I would go to sleep for a few minutes. I was *SO* wrong about that. Afterwards, she said things looked pretty normal, so she stretched the outlet of my stomach by about 2mm. Uh, didn't we just agree that wouldn't happen? Anyway, so now my throat hurts.
I was crying in the recovery room. I felt (and still feel) like this is somehow going to cost me my job...I can't work if I'm busy feeling like I'm going to throw up, and I never know what's going to make me sick. Do not mistake this for regret. I don't regret having gastric bypass surgery, not for a minute. I knew that food incompatibilities could happen, and that I could get sick or develop any number of complications. For the most part, I've been very lucky. Some people can't even drink milk afterwards; that didn't happen to me. I don't like eggs anymore, and I can't digest beef, but this throwing up thing has got me confused because it's so unpredictable.
But there are several other people at my job who had the same surgery I did, and I seem to be the only person who consistently needs to take sick time as a result of it...a year and three months later.
After we got back from the hospital, I went straight to my therapist appointment. No progress there, my fault, left feeling rather guilty.
I napped later, and when I woke up, Darren had just come home with Subway. He got my favorite: turkey bacon wrap.
I ate half of it, then threw up.
*sound of Kristen going insane*
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