9:37 a.m. - 2005-01-19
Da-REAM!
Well, as much trouble as I had with falling asleep, the dream was totally worth it...but only in terms of weirdness.
Darren, my sister, and I were on a trip with about 20 other people. At one point, we end up in a fenced-off field right by the Ohio River on the Kentucky side. Robert DeNiro was a Russian guy who was travelling in our group with his wife and 3 or 4 assassins. Either they were really bad at blending, or we signed up for a mob-oriented group trip and didn't know it. Not sure which.
DeNiro, Darren, and I buried a package down by the river. It was lots of money and other stuff (the other stuff was in 3 shoeboxes and some manila envelopes, so I didn't see it).
Once our travel group moved on, Darren had to stay behind in Cincinnati. Our group went to Florida in either a boat or a plane. I think it was a plane, but it had giant sliding doors.
One of the assassins travelling with DeNiro looked like Kelly Hu's character in X2 (the Asian girl with the adamantium in her skeleton that had claws like Wolverine but he kicked her ass). She walked around naked all the time, except for a leather gun holster. The kind that's supposed to go under your jacket...except she was naked.
And her butt looked funny, too. Like, she was so muscular that her butt cheeks were tiny and located way out to each side. I thought about telling her, but then I remembered that she kills people.
In Florida, we stayed with someone in a 70s-looking bungalow. I had to call Darren and leave a message to get him to go back to the river and dig up the money. It was very important, but I can't remember why. My sister had gone off on her own trip by now, so I was left with the assassins by myself. I called Darren and left a voicemail, then gave our hostess $10 (in my dream, long distance rates are very high).
Then I left the group and found this little orange cottage. The guy who lived there kept bitching about how orange paint is $1 per gallon per year, and it was too much to pay. Then some Trading Spaces or other makeover show came by and changed the house number and boarded up a window. He was ecstatic.
So the guy invited me in to dinner, and he was making lots of chicken wings. I found my dad already there, watching TV. There were two other women there. One was a blonde model, but her arms were missing. She had these attachments coming out of her elbows that looked like giant chicken wing sauce squeezie bottles. One was red, one was yellow.
The phone rang, and Dad answered. When he hung up, he came over for a plate of chicken wings, and said that the cable company told him that just for answering the phone he gets more movie channels. Something like that. It sounded sketchy to me, so I left and went over to where the money was buried by the river. I grabbed $20.00, covered up the hole with horse manure (there was some there), and left.
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