9:56 a.m. - 2004-10-22
I got dreams, baby
I should have gotten out of bed at 5:30am when I had this dream, but I was too lazy. The bits and pieces that I do remember are:
There was an old man named Fred, doing taxes for him and his wife, Ethel. (I know, how original, right?)
I'm driving around my little green car again, and somehow I come upon a dachsund. I don't know how it got sick or injured, but somehow its legs are either broken or falling off. My heart is broken, but I don't know what I can do for it. I put it in my car and drive around with it, thinking maybe it'll appreciate some company.
I go to a shopping mall. Inside, I find the set of the Brady Bunch. I found Darren at the door of the house, and I grabbed his hand and made him stand across the street from it. He wasn't quite as excited about it as I was.
Still in the mall, I found a drugstore to cut through to get to the parking lot. As I left, two women from Security asked for my ID. I told them I didn't have to show them my ID, and they said I wasn't leaving until I did. I said I didn't buy anything, so I'm not even a customer. I just walked on the floor to get to the door (I said that two or three times). Finally, they saw my logic and let me leave without showing my ID.
In the parking lot, as I approached my car, I saw a dead dog on my front passenger wheel. It was a siberian husky. My car was a tiny little geo metro, so this dog was pretty big to just be stuck to the wheel, but there it was. I was grossed out about it, so I went to the driver's side and saw another squished, dead husky on the rear driver's side wheel.
I opened my car door and the dachsund was still in there, with no legs, lying still, on the floor under my steering wheel. So I stepped back from the car, exasperated and wondering why I, a dog hater, was being tortured with all these dead and/or dying dogs. Just then, I heard a noise, and the dachsund (not dead! great!) started wriggling out of my car and into traffic.
I didn't stop him. I didn't even want to touch him. I felt like such an asshole, but I can't stand dogs and didn't need a quadroplegic one that wouldn't die. Seriously, I felt like an asshole, but was better prepared to just accept the fact that I'm an asshole than deal with the heartbreak of watching a dog die.
After the dachsund left my car, I drove to a place that was like a giant hall. There were a few of the old plumbers that I used to work with there, and I got the impression that they were waiting for jobs to come in.
Then I was in a hospital, and there were tubes and drains hanging out of me. A doctor kept coming by to ask if I had to use the restroom because she didn't know if it would work. Apparently, something to do with my gastric bypass surgery caused a problem with my lower intestine and bladder, causing them to fall out whenever I used the restroom. I didn't remember any of this; I just woke up in a hospital with tubes everywhere.
I did end up using the restroom in the dream, and a tube fell out, and I had to put it back in, which hurt, and I was terribly sad because no one told me this could happen. Then a nurse stopped by the bathroom door and asked why I was taking so long, and I explained that I had to reposition one of the tubes and she started freaking out, thinking it was ...well, the poop tube instead of the pee tube, and I was all "THERE'S ANOTHER TUBE?!" Because I didn't know about the one in back until then.
I woke up pretty disturbed.
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